‘The Source Of All Unhappiness Is Comparison’

It’s true; if we are not careful we can easily fall into the cancerous habit of comparing ourselves against others: size, weight, looks, job, income, home, and car. Come on, let’s face it we’re doing it all the time aren’t we? You know it’s true!

And we compare our kids against each other too. Brothers against sisters, older kids against younger kids, we do it constantly don’t we?

Does this scenario sound familiar?

‘Why can’t you be more like your brother?’ Or ‘Why can’t you be more like your sister?’

We even compare ourselves against our kids. In fact I talked with a dad just a few days ago who constantly compared himself to his 8 yr old son:

‘Y’see I had to stick up for myself when I was a kid, but he’s so soft he lets people walk all over him’

And the kid was in the room at the time! What message is his father giving him? Not a good one that’s for sure.

How does the kid feel when his Dad, his hero, thinks he’s soft? Knowing his dad doesn’t rate him as a human being? It’s not exactly the way to build confidence in your children is it?

So here’s the drill – 

Stop Comparing Your 

Children With Anyone Else.

  

Our children are unique individuals and whilst they may not do things the way you do, it’s not right to make them feel less than you or anyone else is it?

Now I admit there are certain skills that your child needs to acquire in life if he or she is going to benefit from your experience.

But there are ways to communicate your message that will EMPOWER your child and build a foundation that he or she can lean on knowing that they have your unconditional love and support.

And let’s face it we all want our children to do better than we did, don’t we? Of course and they will whilst aspiring to be just like you IF you think about what you say and stop comparing them to others.

Take joy in their individuality and work to develop their strengths and eliminate their weaknesses and you’ll have great children and great relationships with them.

Thanks for reading today

Tomorrow we're looking at another killer behaviour that we parents indulge in

Best wishes

Tony Higo

Chief Instructor

National Martial Arts College

ww.nat-mac.co.uk

0800 0920948

Why Are My Children Such a Problem and How Can I fix Them?

Isn’t it true though? We love our children dearly but don’t you wish sometimes you could go back and fix them? I mean go right back to basics and start again from the beginning? Let’s face it as parents we don’t have any training in parenting, psychology or human behaviour, we just raise our kids the best way we can. Mostly we raise them in two distinct ways: How our parents raised us and exactly the opposite of how our parents raised us.

Parenting is emotionally draining and it’s not the only job we’ve got. Let’s face it we have a lot of stress as parents; managing house, home, work school, bills and planning for the future. We face redundancy, job loss, illness, bankruptcy and more in these times of high stress, so managing the kids often comes a little down the line in order of priority. To be honest they often don’t see the best of us. They just some grumpy old beggar who disagrees with everything they say and do.

This grumpy image is no way to be seen by our children. It’s not who we really are and it’s borne of trying our best to stop our kids from making the same mistakes as we did. But we often try too hard & stress so much that we get the opposite of the result we really want.

In my years of working with parents and children in my martial arts career I’ve discovered effective ways to heal the breach between us and our children and it comes down to 5 simple mistakes that we need to stop making. That’s the good news and there are simple ways to help you help your children but they’re not easy to do and that’s the bad news.

However, once you’re aware of what these mistakes are you’ll be able to build a strategy based on knowing when you are breaking the rules. The really good news is that in time you’ll get better and better at controlling your behaviour and so will your kids!

So what are these magical secrets, these silver bullets? Well here they are - the ‘Six  Destructive Habits’ that you use on your kids that do them absolutely no good at all – Ready? Join me tomorrow to find out more

best wishes

Tony Higo

Chief Instructor

National Martial Arts College

0800 0920948

www.nat-mac.co.uk 

The Paradoxical Commandments

Today I thought you might enjoy at look at these commandments originally attributed to Mother Teresa

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

3. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

4. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

5. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

6. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

7. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

8. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

9. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.


Hope you enjoyed them


Tony Higo
Chief Instructor
National Martial Arts College
0800 092 0948
www.nat-mac.co.uk

The Law of Surprise

The law of surprise states that 'when anything happens suddenly it creates a sense of shock, even if its expected'. there are two types of surprise, good ones and bad ones. No body likes bad ones and perhaps that's why we enjoy the 'known' in our lives and why people don't often like change because it brings with it a 50% chance of having a nasty surprise.

Surprise creates a moment of shock and shock is a moment of inaction while the brain adjusts and tries to make sense of what has just happened. During this 'shock' period we are unable to function and are for a while in a state of 'freeze'. Even afterwards our minds keep going back over the events trying to resolve what occurred and very shocking events can take years to recover from.

In combat a fighter knows the effects of surprise and her intention is to create surprise in order to produce this moment of shock thereby creating confusion in ones opponent; confusion creates inaction and action always beats inaction.

Surprise can be created in a number of ways using simple surprise tactics as starting before anyone expects you to or even at all. Another method is through deception. Yagya Munenori the famous sword master said that all martial arts is based on deception this is probably true as almost any successful attack or defence relies on the fact that it should be successful in its aim. the fact that it is or is not that a sense of surprise is thereby created.

In martial arts deception means using feints, fakes, draws, re-directions etc to land effective attacks, but in life? How does Surprise help us in our daily life? In negotiations surprise and deception may be more obvious as it more closely aligns with the competitive elements of life. Sometimes we can take actions, succeed or fail and surprise ourselves and those around us by either succeeding or failing when the expected result was the opposite of what happened.

But what about deception in life? Deception generally is not a technique to be admired but perhaps this is not how we use deception in a fulfilling and co-operative life that works with others and not against them. Perhaps deception in life is how we deceive ourselves that we are either better or worse than we are or that we are doing something that we are really not, appearing on the outside to be pursuing a goal when in reality we are coasting and fearing to take action.

What about other deceptions such as lies and untruths that we tell to others? some people say that we must always tell the truth even if it hurts whereas others say telling a lie is ok when it protects someone from pain. Sometimes we are better not knowing the truth if the truth will only cause us pain. Even when it come to telling a terminally ill patient the truth about his condition. Is he better to know or not? That is a larger philosophical question than I want to discuss today and frankly I doubt any discussion could come up with a result that would please everybody.

Would you deceive a friend to protect them from pain? Do you deceive yourself or know someone who is right now lying to themselves so that they don't have to face up to the truth?

Deception by its nature is a surprise only when it is discovered. The difference between surprise and deception I suppose is the intention behind it. A deception is a surprise but a surprise is not always a deception, a deception is a creation by a person whereas a surprise can happen either by intent or accident.

Either way in life and martial arts we must understand the nature of both in order to protect ourselves from the bad ones and arm ourselves for those that we can use. In either case knowing how to use them and recognise when they are being used is important and a useful tool to help us succeed.

So perhaps today we can surprise ourselves in a good way because no one likes a bad surprise and everyone likes a nice surprise, so surprise yourself with what you are capable of so that even if you intend to do it when it happens it can still be a surprise.

Thanks for reading today and I look forward to speaking to you again tomorrow. In the meantime if you want to learn more about the topics I have been discussing give me a call on 0800 0920948 or visit us online at www.nat-mac.co.uk

Best wishes

Tony Higo
National Martial Arts College
0800 092 0948
www.nat-mac.co.uk

The Best Weapon Has the Sharpest Edge - The Law of the Lead

In martial arts the law of the lead states that ‘every good weapon has a sharp edge’. This is a more specific law relating to martial arts mastery but as with all martial arts laws it does have its uses in daily life. The law of the lead is related to many other laws which support it and which it supports such as the law of priority, proximity, leverage, speed and power and is a sub-law of speed and surprise.

The law of the lead means creating a leading edge to each attack or defence. By doing this we create several inbuilt advantages:

1.     By creating  lead side we create a closer side to our opponent which aids proximity, speed and leverage

·        By having one side closer to our opponent we reduce his chances of grabbing both hands to control us or both sides of our body

·        We create a fast side which can be utilised more quickly in attack and defence

·        We create a side that can easily perform set ups, feints, fakes, draws and parries

2.     A lead side creates a rear side which carries power and the ability to turn easily

·        The lead side creates a rear side  which carries great leverage to deliver the most powerful of strikes and kicks which though slower because of their greater distance to travel are nonetheless more powerful.

·        The ability to turn and escape is easier if one foot is forward and one behind

·        Turning throws and the ability to re-direct attacks is greater if one foot is forward and one behind

·        By placing one foot forward and one behind we maximise our lifting ability of an opponent for lifting throws and takedowns

3.     A lead side presents a smaller target to ones opponent and therefore makes one more difficult to attack

·        A lead side presents an edged side making attacks to vulnerable areas more difficult

·        The centre line is protected by taking it out of the angle of first attack

·        A left lead creates an initial of lead target that consists of muscle and bone rather than soft tissue and nerve endings which accumulate around the centre line

4.     The law of the lead allows half step footwork which promotes caution in movement

·        A created leading edge side allows to put the least vulnerable side toward ones opponent

·        Half step footwork allows the leading edge side to be maintained and thereby all its advantages also

·        Half step footwork allows cautious movement forward which reduces the chances of walking onto ones opponents attack which full steps would increase the likelihood of

5.     The law of the left lead utilises the fact that most people are right handed therefore the majority of frontal assaults can be predicted

·        Most people are right handed therefore 85% of frontal assaults will be with the right hand and statistically even left handed people are prone to favour right handed attacks

·        By knowing this we can predict with high probability what a first attack will be and to where (head)

6.     By creating a lead side we can step into this position in the event of danger and thereby be prepared for it.

·        This knowing of the probability means we can create space between ourselves and our potential aggressor without appearing aggressive or submissive

·        This position puts one into a position which affords a strategic advantage over ones opponent before any trouble starts

7.     By creating a lead side, particularly a left lead we afford greater protection to the vulnerable centre line from first attacks

·        Centre line contains more than 10 highly vulnerable areas any of which, if struck can render one unconscious or at least stunned

·        By creating a leading edge we position ourselves well to attack our aggressors vulnerable centre line

In life we can create a leading edge advantage by understanding how others will react in certain situations: fear, embarrassment, loss of face, blame etc. we can learn from the half steps of the leading edge by taking ‘baby steps’ into new areas of potential risk, exercising due caution but taking action nonetheless. Leading edge also means not jumping in with both feet or revealing ones whole strategy to an opponent by placing only a small part at risk. Think for instance of a risk investment. A foolhardy investor will take risk at face value and either not move at all or move too quickly or invest too much money and leave nothing to spare. A wise investor moves cautiously until the full risk is known and never puts everything he has on the line. Instead he risks less and banks the gains for future investments.

Consider areas of your life where you jump in too deep too quick or where you put yourself in the way of risk or not at all. Remember that ‘fools rush in where angels fear to tread’ and remember that angels are immortal and fools are often dead. Move forward certainly but never too fast or too blindly.

I have spent more time today than usual discussing the martial arts in this law as it applies more strongly to martial arts. Being a sub law of several others it is therefore more specific and less general. However you can plainly see the metaphor as it applies to your daily life and how you might be living it without a thorough understanding of the law of the lead.

Thanks for reading today and I look forward to speaking to you again tomorrow

Best wishes

Tony Higo

Chief Instructor

National Martial Arts College

0800 092 0948

www.nat-mac.co.uk

Building Stability With the Law of Base

The law of base states ‘the tallest buildings need a deep foundation’ and this foundation is our base. It is the place of safety where we only leave from carefully and retreat to when necessary, it is the turtles shell, the rabbits burrow and the warlords fortress. It is the point from which all attacks are launched and defended from and should accommodate the widest range of weapons without comprising the safety that base provides. 

Base covers the position of our feet (stance) and the position of our hands (guard) and from our base we should be able to withstand assaults and deliver them. The law of base links closely with the laws of leverage, alignment, balance and also supports the laws of lead, timing, proximity, priority and guard. In the Aegis system our stance portion of the base consists of us standing on an imaginary square with our lead foot on the left hand front corner and our rear foot on the back right corner. Feet should be no less than the width of ones own shoulders for the standard base position and creates what we call the ‘balance platform’. The balance platform allows us space to move our upper body forwards, backwards and sideways without moving our feet and there is an optimum point for each upper body movement to maximise ones leverage from that position. This point of maximum leverage works like this: a tall building is stable only when its base is equal to or wider than its base. Now I know modern architectures can break this rule because of the range of new technologies but in the main this basic rule still applies.

In our martial arts terms this rule definitely applies and in basic terms it means that ones shoulders cannot lean outside of the width of ones feet otherwise balance and stability is compromised. More of this later but remember this rule as it will apply very often to both ones martial arts and ones daily life.

How does the law of base apply to ones daily life? Well, as I mentioned in the first part of our discussion our base is our fortress or you could say it is our home. Isn’t our home the place where we feel most secure? Of course and for good reason, it becomes our symbol of security as in the old saying ‘an Englishman’s home is his castle’. But how else might we use the law of base in life to get us more of what we want from life? Imagine taking a loan; you wouldn’t take out a loan without first making sure that you had the ability to make the monthly repayments would you? If you did you would compromise your base as in the caveat that accompanies any financial advertisement ‘your home may be at risk if you fail to keep up your payments’ literally you could lose your home, your base! Or if you make a purchase or investment you don’t use every penny you have, no, you keep some in reserve for a ‘rainy day’ in other words you don’t ‘over extend yourself’, an analogy that directly applies to martial arts and financial risks.

Before we move forward in martial arts or life we first secure our gains, this is why we have limited companies so that we can limit an entrepreneurs’ exposure to risk, to ensure that he or she doesn’t over extend themselves. Our economy revolves around business people setting up business to support people and provide jobs to their workers. If the business people cannot strengthen their base by limiting their risk they will be less likely to set up new enterprises and consequently the world economy will suffer. Get the idea? And the same concept applies to martial arts so that when we attack in combat we do so from a secure position or base to limit our opponents’ ability to damage us. In fact in combat one of our key goals is to destroy our opponents base, in warfare this means leaving and army stranded without anywhere to retreat to and in single combat it means to destroy the opponents’ balance and position so he is unable to launch effective attacks. So if we learn from our understanding of the law of base we should always work to make sure our base is strong enough to both launch and withstand our attacks/movements.

Thank you for reading today and I look forward to speaking to you again tomorrow when we will discuss another of our laws of combat

Best wishes

Tony Higo

Chief Instructor

National Martial Arts College

0800 0920948

www.nat-mac.co.uk

don’t forget to book yourself for a FREE introductory lesson and get a FREE 30 day trial membership by phoning the number above which is manned everyday up to 8pm. Book now as this is a limited offer for the first 20 enquiries and it is first come first served! Call us NOW!

Maximise Your Effectiveness Using The Law of Leverage

The law of leverage states that ‘with enough leverage you can move the world’ this is based on the observation by the mathematician Archimedes who famously stated ‘Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.’ Leverage creates speed and power both highly prized possessions in the world of martial arts and as we shall see also in our daily lives.

Leverage in ‘one on one’ martial arts is the application of body mechanics and this applies to stand up fighting and groundwork. Leverage is the application of available resources, in combat this means applying body weight and strength into ones technique. Power or more appropriately force is developed through leveraging ones skill, weight, distance and timing to maximise ones force. Strength is also involved but I want to deal with this separately to make it clearer. Body weight is more important than body strength as strength needs energy and body weight has energy. What I mean by this is that it takes leverage to create force but not much strength. This is good news because strength is finite in that one can only maintain a level of energy output while the energy available lasts. That is, you can only run for so long ot punch or kick etc while one’s energy out put can be maintained. However, properly applied leverage uses less energy and can therefore be maintained for longer.

This is important because in combat one has no idea how long the confrontation will last and therefore energy conservation must be a key factor as many a skilful fighter has been beaten by a less skilful opponent who had more energy.

In my old days in Boxing, trainers would shout out ‘lean on it’ meaning lean your body weight behind the punch. Whenever ones sees a good fighter who hits hard with knockout power you can bet that the power comes from properly applied bodyweight and not strength. This is why relatively small fighters can hit with massive power and some heavy, strong fighters cannot – it all comes down to properly applied leverage.

In daily life leverage is often misunderstood and therefore underused. Most people never apply any useful leverage to their daily lives because they are not familiar with how the concept works or even that it exists. For instance when ex-prime minister Tony Blair left office he was offered positions with several large organisations at salaries of in excess of £500,000 pa. at least two companies employ Mr Blair at over half a million a year each! So that’s over a million a year in income with two part-time jobs. But can Mr Blair do any more work than any other employee who earns say £30,000pa? He has the same hours available each day as any other mortal so why should they pay him so much? Leverage.

Tony Blair has run a whole government managing billions of pounds in finances, he has a proven track record of being a world leader so his experience has massive value to any organisation. The depth of his knowledge is immense and the quality of his direct contacts is huge! Imagine this one man can get any business tycoon or world leader to a meeting at the drop of a hat. Having Tony Blair as an employee opens many doors that would otherwise be slammed shut in the face of any average salesman.

On another level we can compare a self employed builder with the owner of a building business. The self employed builder has to do everything by himself and therefore has little leverage to say, take on larger jobs or contracts and if he is ill his income stops because there is no one else to do the work. Whereas the owner of a building company has employees and staff who do the day to day work whilst he/she focuses on managing the business to bigger and better profits. The business owner has used greater leverage to free himself from the day to day work and therefore earns more for longer and doesn’t wear himself out like the busy self-employed builder does.

In martial arts we understand the use of leverage by using enhanced body positioning to bring greater strength and power to techniques without using more energy. The difference between a powerful strike and a light tap is fractions of any inch and milliseconds of time but the difference is huge in application.

Leverage in martial arts uses body mechanics to enhance each technique. The human body is designed to do certain things very well and with correct application to apply weight in various directions, conversely there are also certain directions and movements that we are not designed to do. Knowing which is which is the experience and skill of the true master of the martial arts. I will cover this in more detail when we discuss the ‘Law of Alignment’ but for now it is enough to grasp the concept of leverage and to start looking at your life and training with a view to improving them both through increasing the leverage we can bring to bear.

Today, have a think about what leverage is based on the above examples and think about how you can get more done for more pay (for instance) by thoughtful use of leverage.

Thanks for reading today and tomorrow we will look at another factor affecting leverage a sub law which is known as ‘the Law of Base’. Don’t forget if you want to study the unique Aegis martial arts system, the only system of martial arts training that not only recognises how martial arts and life fit together but that has a real system for connecting them together. Look out for our New Black Belt Leadership program which launches in the new year and will completely blow away any of our martial arts competitors! Book your first Free lesson today by going online to  http://www.nat-mac.co.uk/www.nat-mac.co.uk/info.php?p=8 do it today and get over £100 of free stuff as part of your Basic Program.

Best wishes

Tony Higo

Chief Instructor

National Martial Arts College

0800 0920948

www.nat-mac.co.uk