Tuesday, 21 December 2010

‘The Source Of All Unhappiness Is Comparison’

It’s true; if we are not careful we can easily fall into the cancerous habit of comparing ourselves against others: size, weight, looks, job, income, home, and car. Come on, let’s face it we’re doing it all the time aren’t we? You know it’s true!

And we compare our kids against each other too. Brothers against sisters, older kids against younger kids, we do it constantly don’t we?
Does this scenario sound familiar?

‘Why can’t you be more like your brother?’ Or ‘Why can’t you be more like your sister?

We even compare ourselves against our kids. In fact I talked with a dad just a few days ago who constantly compared himself to his 8 yr old son:

‘Y’see I had to stick up for myself when I was a kid, but he’s so soft he lets people walk all over him’

And the kid was in the room at the time! What message is his father giving him? Not a good one that’s for sure.

How does the kid feel when his Dad, his hero, thinks he’s soft? Knowing his dad doesn’t rate him as a human being? It’s not exactly the way to build confidence in your children is it?

So here’s the drill – 
Stop Comparing Your 
Children With Anyone Else.
Our children are unique individuals and whilst they may not do things the way you do, it’s not right to make them feel less than you or anyone else is it?

Now I admit there are certain skills that your child needs to acquire in life if he or she is going to benefit from your experience.

But there are ways to communicate your message that will EMPOWER your child and build a foundation that he or she can lean on knowing that they have your unconditional love and support.

And let’s face it we all want our children to do better than we did, don’t we? Of course and they will whilst aspiring to be just like you IF you think about what you say and stop comparing them to others.

Take joy in their individuality and work to develop their strengths and eliminate their weaknesses and you’ll have great children and great relationships with them.

Thanks for reading today

Tomorrow we're looking at another killer behaviour that we parents indulge in

Best wishes

Tony Higo
Chief Instructor
National Martial Arts College
0800 0920948

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